


So much more (to you)

by Yullenslullaby



Series: that kiho undercover cop/gang member au no one asked for [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: (i'd like to think), M/M, actually just the previous drabble in this series, but longer and better, did i mention i'm an overdramatic piece of shit, gang/mafia member kihyun, so overdramatic, there's a bit of what i think is smut, this is a whole mess y'all i've warned you, undercover cop hoseok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 02:47:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yullenslullaby/pseuds/Yullenslullaby
Summary: Okay. So maybe Kihyun's a bad person, but so is Hoseok so what's the point?





	So much more (to you)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Our time together (would you allow me more).](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11116143) by [Yullenslullaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yullenslullaby/pseuds/Yullenslullaby). 



> Hello!  
> 1\. English is not my native language so there WILL be mistakes and awkward wording! My writing skills are also really bad so this is basically a mess. I'm really sorry for that!  
> 2\. This was written for the 'police' square in my Kiho Bingo card.  
> 3\. I'm so late :D Literally the last day, but is it my fault..? Yes, absolutely. Who cares anyways.  
> 4\. This is an extension of my drabble in the same series "Our time together (would you allow me more)", which basically includes it too, just a better version of it, i'd like to think.  
> 5\. I... hope you enjoy /sweats nervously/

“ _It’ll be easy,”_ they had said, _“just make them trust you and soon they’ll have told you enough about_ the big thing _”._

 

The big thing was basically an illegal sale of guns and heroine between one of Beijing’s mafias and Seoul’s. It _should_ be easy, indeed; just a few weeks undercover until he could figure out the details about the encounter. Except, it wasn’t like that at all.

 

Almost two months later, Hoseok’s still working undercover. This particular gang, an important but secondary branch of Seoul’s large mafia, has its base in a hotel owned by the leader, and most of the members live between unsuspecting guests. They’re the group that’s gonna effectuate the exchange of millions of won for the ware, and Hoseok’s been with them, acting as a regular member, for these whole two months. It wasn’t very difficult to gain their trust. Another undercover agent who had been years in the gang and eventually climbed ranks in their hierarchy had introduced him as a trustworthy relative, so most of the other members respected him as much as some higher ranks, even though he was only a beginner.

 

Hoseok has to admit, life undercover isn’t what he was expecting. It isn’t all about crime in this gang. They are actually not all that active in that aspect, which confused him at first. Because wasn’t the mafia supposed to be all cold hearted criminals willing to do just about anything for power and money? At least that’s what he had seen until then in his job as a cop.

 

These guys however spent most of their time working in the hotel rather than committing actual crimes. When they did, they took a long time to prepare and it was mostly side jobs for the principal branch that consisted in exchanges such as the one Hoseok was sent to investigate. There were only a few of them who actually worked as assassins and what you would expect of people of their occupation. One of them was Kihyun.

 

Hoseok met him for the first time when he was sent on a job with the guy. It was just almost two weeks after joining them, and although his only job was to drive Kihyun around, Hoseok was still anxious about it. Spend a whole day with a person who killed other people for a living? What if Hoseok slipped, even in the slightest, and Kihyun discovered his secret. Would he be killed, too?

 

Anyways, his fears were proven wrong. If Kihyun noticed anything weird about him, he didn’t mention. Or try to kill him for that matter. The day had gone like this:

 

Hoseok had woken up at ten in the morning, and at eleven he was already in the car waiting for Kihyun. When the guy arrived he just took the passenger seat without more than a nod and cautious glance in Hoseok’s direction. They traveled for some more than a couple hours, in direction to the outskirts of Busan where there was a guy that owed too much money to the gang. Way more than he could pay.

 

Honestly, Hoseok doubted it was the correct thing to just let it happen, for a life to be taken like that. With his cooperation too. But it was impossible for him at the moment to contact his superiors and ask for orders, so he just went with the flow. The man would be killed anyways regardless of Hoseok’s presence, and it wasn’t like he was an innocent, so Hoseok supposed it was for the greater good for him to stay quiet and do as he was told.

 

Once the both of them arrived at their destination, Kihyun spoke to him for the first time.

 

“Let’s eat something first,” he had said, his voice startling Hoseok in spite of its soft tone and low volume. When he turned to look at him, the man was smiling with a raised eyebrow, amused by Hoseok’s reaction. “You know, you’re kind of a scaredy cat. You sure this is a job for you?”

 

Hoseok couldn’t help the pout that his lips formed, didn’t even notice it. “Shut up,” he said, trying to sound intimidating. It didn’t quite go that well, honestly, but Kihyun didn’t mention, “what do you want to eat anyways? I think I saw a billboard advertising a family dinner not so far.”

 

“That would be just fine, yeah.”

 

And so they ate. Kihyun laughed at him for ordering a caesar salad and Hoseok laughed at him in return when the other dropped some of the sauce of his hamburger on his pants.

 

It was almost four in the afternoon when they finished their meal. They had gone back to the car, where they would wait until six. Then they would move to the victim’s house and Kihyun would do his job.

 

The realization of the approaching happenings had made Hoseok’s stomach drop, and he felt like puking all the food he had just consumed.

Being like this with Kihyun just minutes ago, it had felt so normal. Like hanging out with a regular coworker at lunch, having some laughs and getting closer until they’d have to go back to work.

 

Work in this occasion however, involved killing a man.

 

“Do you mind if I smoke here?” Kihyun asked after what probably was ten minutes of silence between them inside the car, getting Hoseok out of his self destructive, guilt-tripping train of thought.

 

“Sure. You mind sharing?” Hoseok had replied to him while rolling down both their seats’ windows.

 

Kihyun then got two cigarettes out of the box in one of his coat’s pockets and handed one one to him while the other he lighted between his lips. He handed the lighter to Hoseok and then put it back in his pocket, beside the cigarettes, when he handed it back.

 

They stayed like that, in the parking lot of a family dinner, each facing opposite windows, until their cigarettes were long gone and a new one was lighted in Kihyun’s case (Hoseok refused when the shorter man offered another one to him, too). Even when this other one was consumed, they hadn’t move until duty called. Back then Hoseok had thought the both of them were mentally preparing themselves. One to ignore his instincts and moral beliefs and the other to execute a perfect work without leaving a trace of his mere existence behind.

 

That night after work was done and they were told to stay in a motel before going back to Seoul in the morning, Hoseok laid facing the wall in his bed a meter away from Kihyun’s. It was then he heard the other’s guilty conscience in the form of tears and ragged breathing. And okay, he figured, maybe they were both preparing for the same thing, back in the car. He then had wondered, why the other man would choose a lifestyle like the one he had, if it hurt him that much.

 

 

 

They didn’t talk much on their way back either. I was as if the blood stained towels and gun in the trunk acted as a wall between them. Hoseok drove, Kihyun smoked facing the window. And that was it for their first meeting. No contact was made between them for the following week, even though they saw each other frequently at the hotel.

 

It was a gloomy night, when they next speak to each other. Hoseok was sitting in the stairs leading to the rooftop of the hotel when the door leading to the hallway had opened and closed softly somewhere to his right. Just seconds later Kihyun took a seat right beside him.

 

Hoseok takes in his appearance. Kihyun’s wearing the same gray coat he had during their job together, a white shirt with blood drop stains on it and black trousers, black shoes, that match his black hair. His eyes are red at the corners and pink, thin lips slightly pouty, swollen probably from biting them in an attempt of containing tears. He’d just come from finishing a job, _a person_ , Hoseok concluded.

 

“You shouldn’t be here,” was all Kihyun said after a minute of silence, greetings be damned.

 

“’Here’ as in the staircase you mean?”

 

“The whole ‘being an undercover cop’ thing, I mean.” Hoseok had gasped for air then, internally cursing at himself for not being able to stay calm and just deny the statement. Kihyun, however had smiled, and just a moment later the expression vanished. “Don’t worry, I think I’m the only one who’s noticed. I’ve been observing you, in a way.” _I could say the same to you_ , Hoseok thinks. “And I wonder, why in hell would they choose someone as sensitive and morally grounded as you are for a heartless job like this.”

 

“Why did you?”

 

Kihyun’s expression then grows confused. “’Why did I’... what, exactly?”

 

“Why would you choose this lifestyle if you’re just like me? You thought I was asleep, but I heard you, that night in the motel. Aren’t you also containing your tears now?”

 

Kihyun stayed like frozen after that, staring right back into Hoseok’s eyes as his own grew teary by the second. He then got up and left the older alone without a word.

 

It was a week before the present time that the physical aspect of their relationship begun, the same night Hoseok had been told the details about _the big thing_ that put him in there to start with.

 

Before that, Kihyun had been coming to Hoseok after every one of his jobs ever since their weird meeting at the staircase, which lead to the two of them getting to know each other quite well.

 

Hoseok got to know that Kihyun’s older brother, Jaehyuk, had joined the mafia first, and trying to take him back home Kihyun followed suit. Obviously, it didn’t quite go like as initially hoped. He had sent his brother home, yes, only not alive; just some months before Hoseok had gone undercover someone from a rival gang had been sent to end Jaehyuk’s life. Then Kihyun got sent to get revenge, the leaders liked how the job had gone and made Kihyun stay. That’s how his life as an assassin started. Kihyun also told Hoseok that he didn’t plan on telling the leaders about him being a cop.

 

Hoseok didn’t understand his reasons, but he didn’t ask either. He just looked at Kihyun’s soft expression and started talking about himself.

 

When Kihyun first kissed him, he thought he had understood.

 

The younger had been crushing on Hoseok, just like Hoseok had been crushing on him. And maybe that was reason enough for Kihyun to want to keep him safe, or maybe there was more. Hoseok had thought of various other reasons he could have, only to forget all about it when Kihyun’s lips met his again.

 

Fast forward to the present, and you have the both of them on Kihyun’s bed. There, Hoseok breaks their lips apart from the kiss they’d been locked in to push Kihyun so that he’s lying under him, his thighs at either side of Kihyun’s hips. Sitting on him, he carries his body forward, weight over his left hand next to the other’s black haired head, the left one burying in between the soft locks.

 

“Is that blood on your shirt?” He whispers, his nose caressing the other’s cheek and taking in the scent of gunpowder, dust and irony blood that he carries from where he most probably came after finishing a job.

  


“Not mine.” Kihyun’s whispering is even lower as his lips ghost over Hoseok’s, making him groan while closing the short space between them.

  


They keep  going  like this, lips sucking lips, with hands that roam freely and undo buttons to both  their content ment , until Kihyun grows impatient and grabs Hoseok’s shoulder to push him to the side  for his back to hit the bed. Now being the one sitting on the older’s lap, Kihyun shakes the uncomfortable coat from his shoulders and onto the floor against which the weapon in its pocket make s a dull  _thud_ . He leans back down, but instead of going towards the other’s lips he kisses the spot behind his ear. The soft gasp leaving Hoseok’s mouth gradually turns into a moan as Kihyun starts sucking there, then licking, and making his way down the neck in similar fashion. It isn’t until his lips reach the moles above Hoseok’s collarbones and have left a mark there that Kihyun fully pulls back to look at his lover.

 

Hoseok’s brown hair’s all messy, totally disheveled, lips swollen and cheeks a furious, hot red; he’s staring at him through half lidded dark eyes and something deep down in Kihyun’s mind is kind of scared by the fact that it’s his gut that twitches at the sight instead of his dick. He doesn't let that hold him back though. He kisses Hoseok’s nose mole and decides that over-analyzing his emotions can definitely wait. The other, however, is not surprised by how his already accelerated heartbeat goes crazy in that exact moment.

  


It’s not after much sloppy and noisy making out that they find themselves losing clothes by the hands of each other, there goes a shirt, there go shoes and socks, and there go their pants; all’s left is their briefs. By the time they’re in that state though, they don’t really care about clothes.

  


Kihyun’s still over Hoseok, both panting and letting out sounds that escape their control, one of the latter’s legs around his waist while Kihyun grinds their hard members together, already wet. His hands above Hoseok’s head are gripping the light blue sheets, elbows by the sides, meanwhile Hoseok’s occupy themselves by grabbing the younger’s ass and giving it the casual spanking when things get faster.

  


Both of them are close to the orgasm when the older accidentally scratches Kihyun’s skin, and instead of being bothered by the pain, Kihyun just feels more turned on.

  


“Shit, do that again, harder-- ah!” he moans as Hoseok complies, his movements becoming faster and their minds losing lucidity in the search of more.

  


Kihyun comes first. The overwhelming sensation hits him sooner than he expected and the exclamations that he moans loudly are impossible to retain. Nevertheless, it’s just second later when the Hoseok also reaches his highest -and the younger can feel it resonate in the whole room, or maybe it’s the post orgasm bliss’s effect, but he feels it with his whole body, too. He feels it through the sudden tightening and rapid loosening of Hoseok’s grip on him, by the added wet warmth against his groin. He can tell by the scent around them, and he can taste it (the saltiness of sweat and tears) when he kisses the other by the ear. Everything’s Hoseok; it sounds like a pleased sigh, but it’s bittersweet.

  


Deep down, everything feels final to them even though they’ve just gotten started. In the back of their minds, there’s a nagging voice screaming at them to taste everything about the other while they still can.

  


Less than half an hour later both of them are under the sheets, bare legs intertwining and recently discarded, cum-stained briefs beside them on the floor along with the rest of their clothes. Hoseok can hear Kihyun’s heartbeat from where he’s with his head resting on the other’s chest. Can hear the slow, tranquil breathing. He has things to say, but he wants to keep listening, ready to fall in deep slumber, so he doesn’t. Kihyun, however, has other plans.

 

“I’ve told you this before, but you really shouldn’t be here. With me.” Hoseok looks up at him, confused, and frowns. “I’m not a good person, as you seem to think,” he adds, grimacing at his own words.

 

And “well, neither am I”, Hoseok responds.

 

Kihyun incorporates his body enough to rest his weight on the elbows, and the sudden change of position forces Hoseok to do the same.

 

“I _kill people_ for a living, Hoseok.”

 

“And I’ve helped you do it, so? What’s your point? You wouldn’t even know my real name if I hadn’t told you, because I’m a fucking snake. So what, you’re a killer, I’m a liar. We’re both shitty people. Do you think I can judge you? Do you think you don’t deserve, what, for me to love you? Heck yeah you do, feelings don’t go like that. You’re not just a killer. You’re a sweet person who likes taking care of others and enjoys cooking a whole buffet for the guests. And I love that about you, I love the way you laugh like a kid, or how your mouth just hangs open when you’re impressed, how you think I can’t tell that you’re looking at my ass when we’re cleaning the hallways even tough you’re so obvious. And there’s so much more about you. You may be a bad person, but you’re not _only_ a bad person.“ Hoseok’s voice’s been gradually rising, almost a full-on shout by the time he stops talking. He’s still frowning, the expression now deeper. He’s upset, and he kinda just wants to kiss Kihyun right now and forget everything about both their lives and situation.

 

“That’s…” Kihyun bits his lip, looking down. “Listen, in less than a month you’ll be gone. This whole gang will be gone too, and I’ll be in jail. Both of the latter will be my fault, and I, just. I can’t bring myself to care. Because maybe I love you, and I want to deserve your love too, but I don’t-” he stammers his next words a few times, throat tight and eyes wet with unshed tears. “I don’t want to be taken away from you. This, me being a shitty person, even if that’s not all there is to me, is what’s gonna bring us apart.” The tears are falling now, in both of their faces. Kihyun takes Hoseok’s hand in his and interlaces their fingers, then continues talking with a closed throat that makes his voice sound airy whispered. It breaks Hoseok’s heart. “I can’t stand it. You’re the only actually good thing that’s ever happened to me. To think that I’m gonna lose you just because I had already lost hope, I- Hoseok I can’t stand it. I’d rather _die_.” He’s sobbing furiously now, breathing with difficulty, and Hoseok wants to say _I’m the one who can’t stand seeing you li_ _ke_ _this_ , but he doesn’t. Instead, he moves so he’s sitting now, and puts his hand over Kihyun’s back to help him to a sitting position too.

 

Hoseok nuzzles Kihyun’s neck, hugging him while the two of them cry, getting quieter and calmer as minutes go by. When the sobs have died down to little hiccups, the older dries his own tears and then Kihyun’s with his thumbs, caressing his cheeks along the way and forcing the younger to look up at him, straight in the eye.

 

“Ki, I’m not the only good thing that’s ever happened to you.” The alluded man opens his mouth to protest, but Hoseok doesn’t allow it, speaking again before the other can mutter a word. “Hey, now. You listen to me, alright? You have Minhyuk and Jooheon, don’t you? Even Hyungwon adores you behind all that bantering and sarcasm. And you adore them all, too. They’re all good presences in your life, who’ve helped you through everything that’s happened to so much more than I have. Even before I came into your life, you already had hope on your own. Maybe I helped you a bit with seeing it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have any without me. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

 

Kihyun nods slowly. He’s looking down, visibly calmer now that he’s stopped crying. He’s fidgeting with the border of the sheets, probably deep in thought, while his other hand still holds strongly onto Hoseok’s. Not one of them talks for the following moments, and Hoseok starts to think the conversation will end just like that, no conclusion settled. He’s tired, so he doesn’t really care.

 

He kisses Kihyun’s shoulder, and rests his forehead against it, closing his eyes just as the other starts talking.

 

“I wanted to do the right thing.” A long pause. “That’s why I didn’t tell anyone about you when I first found out,-” he looks up to meet the other’s eyes. “I wanted to carry out my sentence once I were to be arrested along with everyone else. Now, however, I kinda wish I could just run away, you know. Take Minhyuk, Jooheon, take _you_ even if you’d try to refuse; and heck, even Hyungwon. I want to take you all and run to another country, settle in a quiet, small town where no one would look for us.” His thumb’s now caressing Hoseok’s and everything’s so calm like this, Kihyun’s words of an impossible happy outcome of their situation momentarily numbing the pain in their hearts. Hoseok’s scared he’ll break the magic of it with his words, but he lets himself say them aloud anyways.

 

“But we can still do the right thing.” He hums for a couple seconds, trying to gather the thoughts that are running laps in his mind. “Think about this, Ki. You testify against the big fishes, tell everything you know about all this mafia thing, then I testify in your favor saying you cooperated -which you actually did, and your sentence will be reduced. Maybe you’ll stop wanting to be with me along the way, or maybe I will be the one to do so, but the thing is. For now, I’ve decided that I’d wait for you, alright? I think it’s worth a try.”

 

A beat, two beats; Hoseok can feel them in his eardrums.

 

“Alright. Okay.” A hopeful sigh. “Let’s do the right thing.”

 

And this time it’s Kihyun the one who hugs him. He covers Hoseok in warmth, and lays them down for the night.

 

The time would come, soon, when they’d have to worry about all this again, but for now they would just sleep, and try to keep each other safe.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess. I'm a mess. I hope you don't hate me for wasting your time with this shitty emotion vomit.  
> I'll post a second and last chapter(more like sequel) sometime in the future, yay.  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/IciaPc) • [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/yullaby)


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